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View Full Version : EMRR "Nay-Sayers Wanted" Contest


Tau Zero
02-02-2006, 11:20 PM
(heavy sigh) So I beat my little brains out last month, and *what* do I get for my troubles? "Honorable Mention for Content and Creativity." :(

Oh, yeah, and "The Only Entry Which Mentions Bill Eichelberger By Name." :p ;) :D

http://www.rocketreviews.com/eat/emrroncd_nay_sayers.shtml

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(heavy exasperated sigh) Okay, Nick, ever since I became aware of EMRR's existence, I've heard you drone on and on (and ON) about how we all need to get EMRR on CD, about what a great deal it is, and how incredibly convenient it is to have all of your usual propaganda all in one place where it's easily accessible at pretty much anytime we need it.

*No.* I mean, *really.* And if my meaning isn't absolutely crystal clear, I'd like to offer the following by way of explanation. I give you...

"The Top 5 Reasons I Don't Need EMRR on CD"


Number 5. There's no way to automatically update the CDs with the new information that comes out every month or so. For example, look at the sheer volume of reviews which that Bill Eichelberger boy generates. (disgusted) I mean, him and his stinking "B6-4 Field!" (*Everybody* knows a solid fuel B6-4 rocket motor doesn't generate any kind of electromagnetic field.)

4. And why would I even *want* a "snapshot in time" of an albeit favorite section of the so-called "World Wide Web," which is in a state of constant *and* hopeless flux at any given moment?

3. Besides, you don't have any of the future reviews which *I* plan to write. Oh sure, never mind that I've been putting them off for THE LAST YEAR and MORE, but you *really* should THINK AHEAD!

2. These so-called "compact discs" refuse to be accessed by telepathic means. Shouldn't I be able to *think* about a given article, review, or (giggling senselessly) RockSim file, and have it downloaded directly into my brain for immediate analysis?

And finally, the Number 1 Reason I Don't Need EMRR on CD: Your primitive 21st century Earth technology leaves a great deal to be desired. Frankly, I'm not sure that my (Mostly) Universal Decryption Laser (MUDL, pronounced "muddle") is even remotely capable of decoding your accumulated "rocketry wisdom," even given the fact that...

--Hello, what's *this?*

(inhales sharply to cover real feelings) No, I can't think of any reasons at all that I could possibly want the immense wealth of historical Earth data digitally encoded on your portable silver storage devices.

(--"Great KRYTEN! Can you be*LIEVE* this incredible treasure trove? Imagine how much I'll be able to *sell* this for on the Intergalatic Post-It[tm] Bulletin Board?)

(You're *right!* Those Earthlings are *so* gullible!)


--Jay Goemmer
"Centuri Guy"

12 Jan 2006

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