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  #11  
Old 12-19-2015, 04:54 PM
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gpoehlein gpoehlein is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmacklin
GH, surely you've got some teenage nieces, nephews, cousins or some such animal in your clan who is as ornery as you are, right? Maybe you could convince one to say something like this during the Christmas dinner:

"What is this stuff Grandma? It looks like lung butter!"


Just remember that commas save lives:

"Let's all eat Grandma" vs "Let's all eat, Grandma"!
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  #12  
Old 12-19-2015, 05:03 PM
Rob Campbell Rob Campbell is offline
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Make a Santa dummy and stage it to look like he fell off the roof and died.
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  #13  
Old 12-20-2015, 03:48 AM
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The "Lung Butter" quip was hilarious !
That thar is QUALITY !

The 'Santa fell off the roof' gag is good, although somewhat complicated/time consuming to pull off.
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  #14  
Old 12-20-2015, 05:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghrocketman
The 'Santa fell off the roof' gag is good, although somewhat complicated/time consuming to pull off.


How about using tape on the driveway to outline a human body (murder scene) complete with sleigh tracks leading to and away from it?
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  #15  
Old 12-20-2015, 09:08 AM
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How about a Santa got stuck scenario as evidenced by only his boots and red pants sticking out of the chimney?
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  #16  
Old 12-20-2015, 09:09 AM
Rob Campbell Rob Campbell is offline
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Arrange a coal delivery on Dec 24th and send the kids to answer the door.
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  #17  
Old 12-20-2015, 09:22 AM
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Film a fake movie of Santa's funeral and show it to the kids.
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  #18  
Old 12-20-2015, 09:35 AM
Rob Campbell Rob Campbell is offline
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Tell the kids DHS arrested Santa for possession of unregistered drones, with intent to distribute.
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  #19  
Old 12-20-2015, 10:50 AM
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"I'm sorry children. Santa was shot down by our F16's on orders of the president after violating American airspace. There were no survivors and all that was found was a few pieces of gift wrapping."

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  #20  
Old 12-20-2015, 12:04 PM
Rob Campbell Rob Campbell is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmacklin
"I'm sorry children. Santa was shot down by our F16's on orders of the president after violating American airspace. There were no survivors and all that was found was a few pieces of gift wrapping."



Or the Turks mistook his sleigh for a Russian war plane and shot him down when be entered Turkish airspace.
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