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  #1  
Old 10-26-2021, 04:47 PM
JAL3's Avatar
JAL3 JAL3 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 1,298
Default Another, Hopefully Last, Update for Those Following JAL3's Sale

I am finally back and I hope it sticks. Since my last post, the only time I have been to the site is when I accidentally clicked a link. Those times lasted for all of 10 seconds or so.

I want to thank everybody for their support and well wishes. Some of you who actually know me took the time and made to effort to reach out to me and that was appreciated as well. In fact, I am deeply grateful and that makes what follows sound a bit strange.

I did as I promised and made sure that all current commitments had been sent out. They had been. After that, I just could not face the prospect of coming here again. Each time when I almost did, I found myself recoiling. That is strange especially since I credit TRF and YORF in being major factors in my recovering from a brain tumor years ago. THIS IS WHAT I LOOKED FORWARD TO! I loved these places. I did not understand the aversion and, even though I think I understand the source, I still don't understand the mechanics. It's simplistic but I will leave it with this explanation: it seemed that I feared to contaminate something I loved with my "diseased" presence.

That disease was depression.

Things actually got better for me in terms of scheduling and hours after my last update. My schedule got regularized so that I generally knew what was expected from me from day to day without it being a big surprise. There were still rough spots and they still hurt but work became easier after a while.

Let me describe a rough spot. I had to attend a family who made the very difficult decision to turn off a ventilator. It was the circumstances that hurt. He had gone to one of those clinics in a strip mall with respiratory issues. They assumed COVID without even testing and intubated the man. He did not have COVID but the real tragedy is that they don't do intubations in those places very often. They got the intubation done correctly but it never occured to them to actually turn on the oxygen. By the time the mistake was discovered, the brain damage was extreme and irreversible. My blood still boils thinking about it.

In any event, dealing non-stop with almost exclusively "bad" stuff took it's toll. Apparently I became depressed. I can look back and see the signs but it's hard to see them when looking in a mirror. For the last month or so, I just wanted to do what I had to do and release myself to sleep. I was truly miserable.

What seems to have snapped me out of it is actually another tragedy. One of my colleagues, the guy who took my position when I was assigned to west Texas, has had a serious medical issue come up. It is one that I lived through. I am picking up his shifts as well as my own because there is a shortage of multilingual people with the needed certifications. For some reason, having the mission to accomplish, something besides "keep plugging away", snapped me out of it.

The horrors of getting online no longer seem like horrors. Instead, getting on line here has been restored to what it always should have been: a pleasant escape.

As an epilogue, the brain surgery yesterday went well. I hope he is able to return in a few months.

As for the sales, I need to check and see if interested parties are still interested in the items that have been PMed. After that, I am restarting with price reductions for the things that have been posted but have not sold. Then I will crack open a few more boxes.

There are not quite as many boxes as there were. I gave 15 away last week to some school kids. That probably accounts for about 200 rockets or so but don't worry. When my wife tries to look, she cannot tell that I have even made a dent so far.
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John A. Lee O.S.L.
Alamo Rocketeers NAR Section 661
NAR 87285, L1 8 March 2008
TRA 03040, L1 8 March 2008
Photos of the "Fleet": http://www.flickr.com/photos/23694991@N03/

I used to tell Mom, "...I want to fly rockets when I grow up!"

She said, "Make up your mind, you can't do both!"
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  #2  
Old 10-27-2021, 03:27 AM
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ghrocketman ghrocketman is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Nunya Bizznuss, Michigan
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Please take it easy.
Give yourself some well deserved rest and relaxation whenever possible.
I know that's easy to say by me, but really do yourself some good and de-compress.
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When in doubt, WHACK the GAS and DITCH the brake !!!

Yes, there is such a thing as NORMAL
, if you have to ask what is "NORMAL" , you probably aren't !

Failure may not be an OPTION, but it is ALWAYS a POSSIBILITY.
ALL systems are GO for MAYHEM, CHAOS, and HAVOC !
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  #3  
Old 10-27-2021, 03:42 AM
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JAL3 JAL3 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: San Antonio, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghrocketman
Please take it easy.
Give yourself some well deserved rest and relaxation whenever possible.
I know that's easy to say by me, but really do yourself some good and de-compress.


Thanks.

In some ways, most of the past month has been spent resting while not at work. I say in some ways because it definitely was not perfect.

What is different now is my attitude. Before, I was just trying to endure. That is no longer the goal. The goal is to do what I want... if SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED let's me.
__________________
John A. Lee O.S.L.
Alamo Rocketeers NAR Section 661
NAR 87285, L1 8 March 2008
TRA 03040, L1 8 March 2008
Photos of the "Fleet": http://www.flickr.com/photos/23694991@N03/

I used to tell Mom, "...I want to fly rockets when I grow up!"

She said, "Make up your mind, you can't do both!"
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  #4  
Old 10-27-2021, 08:34 AM
ghrocketman's Avatar
ghrocketman ghrocketman is offline
President, MAYHEM AGITATORS, Inc.
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Nunya Bizznuss, Michigan
Posts: 13,443
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Honestly I live to do what I WANT for the most part.
Everything else is a means to that end.
Life is FAR too short to be continually stressed out or depressed, especially for things you cannot control.
Many of my co-workers are always stressed out; I don't let my career do that to me.
I do as much as I can reasonably within a standard work week; more than that does not happen unless an emergency.
Poor planning by others NEVER constitutes an emergency for me.

Some live to work; the smart folks work to LIVE.
__________________
When in doubt, WHACK the GAS and DITCH the brake !!!

Yes, there is such a thing as NORMAL
, if you have to ask what is "NORMAL" , you probably aren't !

Failure may not be an OPTION, but it is ALWAYS a POSSIBILITY.
ALL systems are GO for MAYHEM, CHAOS, and HAVOC !
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  #5  
Old 10-31-2021, 08:49 AM
PaulK PaulK is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: WI
Posts: 1,847
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Depression is insidious, and can really sneak up. Recognizing it might be the toughest part, I'm glad you've found a way out. Stay vigilant going forward, and do what you need to - keeping busy is my #1 weapon.
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If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane - Jimmy Buffett
NAR #87246 www.wooshrocketry.org
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