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Ye Olde Joke Forum
Continued from the "Apogee Rockets Website Problem" thread.
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Yes, I realized that. I just wanted to throw a twist into a joke that's at least 9 years old now. No argument intended. (I chuckled at Joe's joke, too.) But since this is a forum for vintage rockets, I will acknowledge that it's as good a place as any for vintage jokes, too! (The other great repository for hoary old jokes is late-night talk shows... ) So, why not? Who has a great joke to tell that's as old as the hills? (This line of discussion probably ought to move off to its own thread. And so it will.) Mark \\.
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Mark S. Kulka NAR #86134 L1,_ASTRE #471_Adirondack Mountains, NY
Opinions Unfettered by Logic • Advice Unsullied by Erudition • Rocketry Without Pity
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A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Hey, why the long face?" Barimp bump!
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"I'm a sandman. I've never killed anyone. I terminate runners when their time is up." Logan from "Logan's Run" http://sandmandecals.com/ |
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Oh, Geez
If Sandman's going THERE, here's my awful contribution:
Two guys walk into a bar. ... The other one ducks. (Ba-dump-bump!)
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Dean Fox NAR #53946SR ---- "Wherever you go, there you are" |
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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
(Think about it) |
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Some rather nerdy guys from Arizona drove over to San Diego
for Spring Break one year and they decided to go to the beach. The night before, they went out and bought everything they could think of that a typical swinging beach bum would require - swim suits, flip flops, sun tan lotion, bottled water, beach ball, moustache wax, you name it. The next day they hung out at the beach and, after a while, they realized that they weren't getting anywhere with the girls. On the other hand, there was another bunch of guys down the beach who were having all sorts of luck. In fact, it seemed like the girls just wouldn't leave those guys alone. Well, after a while, the nerds decided to send somebody over to try and find out just what was going on. He took aside one of the popular guys and quietly asked him what his secret was. He laughed and said, "Well, every day before we go to the beach we stuff a potato down our swim suit, and the girls just LOVE it!" Armed with their newfound knowledge, the nerds went to the grocery store that night and bought the biggest Idaho potatoes they could find. The next morning they each stuffed a potato down their swimsuit and headed for the beach, looking for fun and adventure. Unfortunately, nothing had changed. They still weren't getting anywhere with the girls, and in fact now things seemed to have gone from bad to worse - the girls were giving them a wide berth. They decided to send their representative back over to the popular guys and ask some questions. So he went up to the same guy as the day before and said, "Hey, what gives? You said to put a potato down our swimsuits, and so we did, but it just isn't working!!" The guy stood back, looked him over, and said, "Well ... we put ours down the front". |
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There were two blond guys working for the city works department. One man's job was to dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. The man said to the hole digger, "I appreciate the effort you're putting into your work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it up again?" The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed. "Well, normally we're a three-man team, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today..." .
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Jay Goemmer "Centuri Guy"/"Tau Zero" YORF Member 28 Semroc SAM #0029 NAR 86131 "I think about organizing things all the time. Never seems to happen. I find something that piques my interest and I'm off on a quest. Or a Centuri. " --Bill Eichelberger, 02/22/2022 “Centuri fret buzz in an updated form.” Bill “Wallyum” Eichelberger re: Estes Flutter-By 03 Sept 2014 |
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These are great! I like 'em! Keep them coming...
Mark \\.
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Mark S. Kulka NAR #86134 L1,_ASTRE #471_Adirondack Mountains, NY
Opinions Unfettered by Logic • Advice Unsullied by Erudition • Rocketry Without Pity
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Two ol' boys were at the diner in small, east Texas town enjoying the blue plate special. One of them looked up to notice a very large woman across the room gorging on her chicken. Suddenly, her head sprang up and her eyes grew big as she grasped at her throat. One of the guys quickly made his way across the room and bent down to talk to her. "Are you chokking?" he asked. She shook her head 'yes'. "Can you breathe?" She shook her head 'no'. He motioned her to stand up, which she did, then he told her to bend over. He pulled her underwear down, stuck out his tongue and dragged it across her bottom.
She was so shocked that she coughed up the chicken bone and began to breathe with great relief. The ol' boy walked back to his seat and told his partner, "See, I told you that hind lick maneuver works every time!" Doug .
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YORF member #11 |
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Quote:
EEEEeeeeeeeeewwwww....GROSS!!!
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"I'm a sandman. I've never killed anyone. I terminate runners when their time is up." Logan from "Logan's Run" http://sandmandecals.com/ |
#10
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Two Goldfish were in their tank
One says to the other "You man the guns & I'll drive" |
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