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  #1  
Old 01-02-2009, 07:10 PM
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Mark II Mark II is offline
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Default Ye Olde Joke Forum

Continued from the "Apogee Rockets Website Problem" thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveR
At risk of starting an argument:

I think GIJoe was refering to a comment made by Al in an interview back in 1999:

"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the iniative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, and improvements in our educational system."

Regardless if it was taken out of context and thus began an urban legend; that's what he said--Take it or leave it.

Yes, I realized that. I just wanted to throw a twist into a joke that's at least 9 years old now. No argument intended. (I chuckled at Joe's joke, too.)

But since this is a forum for vintage rockets, I will acknowledge that it's as good a place as any for vintage jokes, too!

(The other great repository for hoary old jokes is late-night talk shows... )

So, why not? Who has a great joke to tell that's as old as the hills? (This line of discussion probably ought to move off to its own thread. And so it will.)

Mark \\.
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  #2  
Old 01-02-2009, 08:55 PM
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A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Hey, why the long face?"

Barimp bump!
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Old 01-02-2009, 10:43 PM
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Default Oh, Geez

If Sandman's going THERE, here's my awful contribution:




Two guys walk into a bar.

... The other one ducks.




(Ba-dump-bump!)

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Old 01-02-2009, 10:43 PM
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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

(Think about it)
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Old 01-03-2009, 12:25 AM
jeff_in_AZ jeff_in_AZ is offline
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Some rather nerdy guys from Arizona drove over to San Diego
for Spring Break one year and they decided to go to the beach. The
night before, they went out and bought everything they could think of
that a typical swinging beach bum would require - swim suits,
flip flops, sun tan lotion, bottled water, beach ball, moustache wax, you
name it. The next day they hung out at the beach and, after a while, they
realized that they weren't getting anywhere with the girls. On the other
hand, there was another bunch of guys down the beach who were having
all sorts of luck. In fact, it seemed like the girls just wouldn't leave
those guys alone.

Well, after a while, the nerds decided to send somebody over to try and find
out just what was going on. He took aside one of the popular guys and
quietly asked him what his secret was. He laughed and said, "Well, every day
before we go to the beach we stuff a potato down our swim suit,
and the girls just LOVE it!"

Armed with their newfound knowledge, the nerds went to the grocery store that
night and bought the biggest Idaho potatoes they could find. The next morning
they each stuffed a potato down their swimsuit and headed for the beach,
looking for fun and adventure. Unfortunately, nothing had changed. They still
weren't getting anywhere with the girls, and in fact now things seemed to have
gone from bad to worse - the girls were giving them a wide berth.

They decided to send their representative back over to the popular guys
and ask some questions. So he went up to the same guy as the day before and
said, "Hey, what gives? You said to put a potato down our swimsuits,
and so we did, but it just isn't working!!"

The guy stood back, looked him over, and said,
"Well ... we put ours down the front".
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Old 01-03-2009, 12:29 AM
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Thumbs up

There were two blond guys working for the city works department. One man's job was to dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. The man said to the hole digger, "I appreciate the effort you're putting into your work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed. "Well, normally we're a three-man team, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today..."

.
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  #7  
Old 01-03-2009, 03:40 AM
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These are great! I like 'em! Keep them coming...



Mark \\.
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Old 01-03-2009, 04:01 AM
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I don't know, Jeff -- are you sure those guys were from Arizona? They sound like they were from the backwoods of northern NY!

Mark \\.
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Old 01-03-2009, 09:28 PM
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A husband and wife went shopping at Walmart. The husband sees a sale for beer - a case of 24 cans for $10. He puts a case into the cart. The wife says"What are you doing?". "Just getting some beer - it's on sale." She says "We can't afford it - put it back". Later, the wife puts a $20 jar of face cream into the cart. He says "What are you doing?" She responds "It's my face cream - it makes me look more beautiful". He replies "Heck - you'll look more beautiful to me after 24 cans of beer, and its half the price"

Announcement over the PA system - "Husband down in aisle 24"
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Old 01-03-2009, 09:45 PM
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Les, that's two -- keep it up and you'll be ready for your own late night talk show!

Mark \\.
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